All The Messages And Opinions Ingrained In Our Psyche Are There To Actually Serve Us

Contrary to the idea that we are born as sinners, being judgmental of something or someone’s behavior is not part of our essential nature: we have learned to be judgmental in order to navigate the ebbs and flows of life, so we can discover who we really are.

We have acquired this almost universal personality characteristic to learn all about the worlds of opposites (duality) and, also, to detect our underlying oneness. To get a better understanding of the ultimate root of judgment, and therefore suffering of any kind, we first need to take a closer look at the early stages of our lives.

From early childhood, many of us have grown into the shame of not being good enough. As toddlers, we may have sensed the warm and loving approval of our parents as we successfully took our first steps or managed to climb a staircase without falling down. But we may also have learned that when we weren’t as ‘successful’ in our attempts to master the force of gravity as our parents would have liked us to be, their faces would look somewhat less satisfied, even disappointed. Although we were unconscious of the subtle differences in their reactions, we registered, nevertheless, that one reaction was preferable to another.

This basic pattern repeated itself many times over in different ways. For one action, we received our parents’ consent, and for the other we earned either no response or even outright disapproval. There is actually nothing wrong with falling down when learning how to walk. In fact, it is highly beneficial for the physical, emotional and spiritual development of children to experience falling down and then getting up again through their own effort, similar to a young bird that learns to fly. We learn the truly important skills of life by mastering the difficulties that seem to prevent us from becoming who we want to be.

It is one thing to realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is a result of all the messages and opinions ingrained in your psyche. It is an entirely different thing to recognize that all these are there to actually serve you, in a way. To understand this, first you must sift through all of the shoulds in your life, which have a stifling effect on your sense of freedom and inner knowingness.

Next, you need to open up to new worlds and different viewpoints. When you do so, you will discover that there is more to life than just principles and shoulds. You learn that when you give, you receive; when you love, you are loved; when you feel compassion, your heart opens; and when you are honest with others, you face no tension in your relationships.

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This is an excerpt from my book LIFTING THE VEIL OF DUALITY