Removing The Lens Of Judgment

Judgment, which is a subjective compulsive need to categorize things or people to confirm, justify or validate our beliefs or opinions, seems to be a very meaningful and useful tool to navigate through the ups and downs of life. Yet there is hardly any basis to judgment other than feeling inadequate, unfulfilled, or empty inside. Putting people or things into higher or lower categories stems from not feeling worthy enough. The need to pass judgments on people i.e. to see them as anything but pure Love, reflects the state of unhappiness or lack of completeness in our hearts. This makes judgment a misdirected energy that lacks discernment. Judgmental energy is responsible for all the conflicts and disharmony the Earth has ever witnessed. Discernment, on the other hand, sees that every person and every situation in life plays an import part on the game-board of life.

Without being conscious of it, I had carried some deep sadness within me through most of my life. I wasn’t aware, either, that I always categorized people, things and situations into good and bad. Once I began to feel, however, that my own flaws and discrepancies were a necessary part of my growth as a human being and actually served me very well, my urge to judge others began to crumble.

As I began to accept both my gifts and weaknesses, I no longer felt so compelled to hide my ‘dark’ side from anyone, including myself. As a result, I became more patient with myself and a sense of peace and serenity overcame me as I never experienced before. The inner drive to being a more important and better person than I really was felt less urgent and intense and I started to accept and even love the ‘new’ me. In due time, the chains of self-imprisonment broke to pieces and I felt truly free for the first time in my life. I suddenly saw why I had judged so many people and was grateful that I had played that role so well, for without it, I would not have tasted this freedom.

In spirit, I spontaneously began to thank everyone who had ever disapproved of me or judged me in any way. My parents, teachers and relationships had all helped me to experience how it feels to be judged and to become aware of my counter-reactions and defensiveness. Through the understanding and procedures described in this book I was able to ‘rewire’ my brain to support the new way of life I was dreaming about. Moreover, my experiences of this world began to change drastically. To whatever extent I can be aware of, my new brain has no more reference points for what is ‘good or bad’ and ‘right or wrong’. My lens of judgment began to lift.

As I began to accept all parts of myself as equally important and good for me, I was also able to see that the same was true with regard to my relationship with others. My desire to change even those closest to me became less pronounced and eventually subsided once I let go of the expectations I had of myself. I rejoice now in the differences that exist between my partner or my friends and me. I can clearly see that their strengths and weaknesses are great assets for their own growth and learning, and that they benefit me too. In retrospect, the ‘bad’ experiences have helped me more on my path of learning than the good ones. Whenever someone hurt me, betrayed me, or even broke my heart, it has actually taught me how important it is to trust again. Things often seemed painful and unfair at the time, but in reflection, I know that without overcoming those obstacles I would never have been able to realize my potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Once I accepted whatever I had rejected in myself before, I found very little reason to reject anyone or anything outside of me. I started to look right through my friends’ critical comments, harshness, stubbornness, and inability to love and see the pain that prevented them from being the wonderful people they are. By extending my love to them, they too began to feel worthy of love once again and were able to heal their wounds of emotional hurt. I also understood why they came into my life.

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This is an excerpt from my book LIFTING THE VEIL OF DUALITY